an overarching theme of uncertainty. the opposite of how I felt this time last year, but some how my life now is so much more real than it was then. I feel like its finally time to reflect on what I went through the second half of ‘13. I felt isolated, stagnant. nothing was moving forward, I was caught in a moment I never thought was going to be over. winter break was like a rejuvenating cup of something I needed so badly. I came back more confident, self assured, indifferent to the negative reactions. so I suddenly stopped getting them. I’ve been happy and I know I’m 100 times better a person I was before because of the hard time I had. In the last four months I’ve grown an astronomical amount. I’m nicer person. I’m calmer. I know my values more than I did before. And as hard as it was at the time I’m so glad for it. I really grew up a lot. I feel like a tree that got more rings. now my only problem is having no idea what’s next. I graduate a little over a year from now. I don’t know what country I’m going to live in, whether to try to stay in the uk or move back to american. I don’t even know how I would stay in the uk if thats what I decide. I don’t know what career to pursue. I don’t have a plan and I can’t start making a plan because I have no idea what I want. And in a few months time I may have to say goodbye to someone I don’t want to let go of.